Next Friday

Ray Tango and Gabriel Cash are two successful narcotics detectives who can't stand each other. Crime lord Yves Perret, furious at the loss of income they have caused him, plots an elaborate revenge against them.

New Yorkers Skip Donahue and Harry Monroe have no jobs and no prospects, so they decide to flee the city and find work elsewhere, landing jobs wearing woodpecker costumes to promote the opening of a bank. When their feathery costumes are stolen and used in a bank robbery, they no longer have to worry about employment — they're sent to prison.

Bank robber Graham Dorsey spends a few hours with beautiful widow Amanda Starbuck, in which time his gang takes part in a disastrous holdup. Learning of his comrades' demise, Dorsey goes on the lam. Believing her short-term lover was killed by the law, Amanda decides to make the most of having had a liaison with the supposedly deceased desperado by writing a book about him. Much to his confusion, the still-living Dorsey watches as his name becomes legendary.

After a mobster agrees to cooperate with an FBI investigation in order to stay out of prison, he's relocated by the authorities to a life of suburban anonymity as part of a witness protection program. It's not long before a couple of his new neighbours figure out his true identity and come knocking to see if he'd be up for one more hit—suburban style.