Don't Suck

A duo of bisexual female vampires prey on passing motorists, whom they seduce and murder in the English countryside.

In the heart of Styria the Karnstein Family, even after their mortal deaths, rise from their tombs spreading evil in the countryside in their lust for fresh blood. Baron Hartog whose family are all victims of Karnstein vampirism, opens their graves and drives a stake through their diabolical hearts. One grave he cannot locate is that of the legendary beautiful Mircalla Karnstein. Years of peace follow that grisly night until Mircalla reappears to avenge her family's decimation and satisfy her desire for blood.

Private eye Rafe Guttman is hired by repressed, born-again Katherine to find her missing bad-boy brother. The trail leads him to a whorehouse run by a thousand-year-old vampire and secretly backed by Katherine's boss, televangelist Jimmy Current.

Anthropologist Joe Weber takes his son on a trip to the New England town of Salem's Lot, unaware of its vampire population. When the inhabitants reveal their secret, they seek Weber to write a bible for them.