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Harry Doyle and Archie Lang are two old-time train robbers, who held up a train in 1956 and have been incarcerated for thirty years. After serving their time, they are released from jail and have to adjust to a new life of freedom. and soon realize that they still have the pizzazz when, picking up their prison checks at a bank, they foil a robbery attempt.

Five hapless inner-city low-lifes attempt to burgle a pawnbroker's safe, but end up being plagued by bad luck.

Angelo "Snaps" Provolone made his dying father a promise on his deathbed: he would leave the world of crime and become an honest businessman. Despite having no experience in making money in a legal fashion, Snaps sets about to keep his promise.

Countless wiseguy films are spoofed in this film that centers on the neuroses and angst of a powerful Mafia racketeer who suffers from panic attacks. When Paul Vitti needs help dealing with his role in the "family," unlucky shrink Dr. Ben Sobel is given just days to resolve Vitti's emotional crisis and turn him into a happy, well-adjusted gangster.