Once upon a time ... Angie, an aging star reluctantly goes on one last shoot for a seedy Producer, on location, in an enchanting old cabin deep in the shadowy forest. While on the shoot the cast and crew encounter Henry, and his little sweet sister Patti, two strange and mysterious children who seem to live in the woods. A violent attack on the second evening of shooting sends Angie and the rest of the crew into a frighten frenzy. They lock themselves into their secluded cabin and find themselves trapped and surrounded by an unknown assailant. Could these two children be responsible for these vicious attacks?

While other media outlets bring you news as it happens, only the Onion News Network has the power to bring you the news before it happens. In the year 2137 a catastrophe has reduced the world to a lawless wasteland — food and water are scarce, social institutions have crumbled, and a screaming, tattooed thug has been installed as the president of what remains of the United States.