Global climate change prompts a scientific corporation to genetically modify Alaskan polar bears with horrific and deadly results.

Forty years ago a supernatural force vanquished Brooke and Rhea, a sexy lipstick lesbian couple, after they committed an inconceivable murder. Now, on New Year's Eve, they'll rise from the dead. Still hot and still a couple, they're back as vampires. Enamored with their newfound power, it's no longer a question of whether they will kill again, but of how.

Washed up child star Gloria Green thinks her life can't get any worse when she finds herself kidnapped by a deranged stalker and held captive with her biggest fan, Dawnee, who seems intent on making Gloria relive the past she's tried to forget. As the two hostages butt heads, Gloria's hapless assistant, Cheryl, tries to track down her missing boss, enlisting the help of the incompetent and dismissive police force.