In 1971 Salford fish-and-chip shop owner George Khan expects his family to follow his strict Pakistani Muslim ways. But his children, with an English mother and having been born and brought up in Britain, increasingly see themselves as British and start to reject their father's rules on dress, food, religion, and living in general.

Four teenaged lads set off to get laid in order to stay alive. However, the boys have to attract the girls first in order to complete their mission. Otherwise, they will be hunted and killed by a vicious Werewolf which only seems interested in Virgins.

The eccentric lesbian icon Joe Carstairs looks back on her adventurous life together with her faithful little companion, Lord Tod Wadley. The story unfolds in a mix of live action and puppet animation.