At popular South Beach University, filthy rich super-snob Victoria English is the absolute queen of leading Greek student club, Sigma Sigma. In order to achieve her crowning ambition, winning FHM Magazine's annual best sorority, she must recruit atypical 'Sigmies' to fulfill the diversity criteria. Ambitious sycophant pledge Kristen Haas helps her attract 'losers' (too poor, ugly, unfashionable), who are cruelly put through excruciating hazing, without intent to actually enroll them. Gloria, the brightest and most assertive pledge, wins the heart of Derek 'baby Dick', Victoria's ideal, yet constantly abused boyfriend, whose bitch-addiction is cured by this alternative lover. Together they lead the revolt of the not-even-nerds.

A celebration of the ever increasing depravity of television in our society-- it's a channel surfing adventure through the most utterly ridiculous spoofed television programming and commercials.

In this film, childhood friends come face to face with the demons of rock and roll (lust, drugs, and passion) on a cross-country road trip that compels them to face their past, present, and future. Rocker Spyder, whose debut album was a huge hit saw his follow-on album bomb, causing him to retreat to his small hometown and give up. Seven years later, 27-year-old Spyder reconnects with his long-lost best friend and writer of his debut album Eric, son of a late great punk rock guitar legend, who has long settled into the sedate life of a suburban middle school music teacher. The reunion forces the two to recall their youthful ambitions and re-examine the choices they've made.

What would you do? You know you should run, but you're not going to, are you? Remember, you've been warned...