The film follows a petty rock band called the Winners, consisting of vocalist Joey Winner, bassist Jennifer, guitarist Tyler, drummer Sam, and French-Canadian roadie Hugo, along with their sleazy manager Jeff, as they tour across Canada and the USA after Jennifer is turned into a vampire by Queeny. Meanwhile, a vampire hunter who is afraid of the dark named Eddie Van Helsing quickly chases them down.

An elderly sex shop owner's attraction to a younger woman leads him to an erectile dysfunction doctor whose treatment reveals an alluring but treacherous alternate reality.

Two brothers spend the day driving around Los Angeles county looking for the meaning of their lives, or cheap street drugs, depending on who you happen to believe.