17-year-old Bret Easton Ellis is in his final year at the elite Buckley prep school. Upending his world is the arrival of a mysterious new student, Robert Mallory, whose unsettling presence coincides with the activities of a serial killer known as The Trawler.

When a gang of bumbling porch pirates targets East Texas during the holiday season, three small-town detectives jump into action. Their mission? Recover stolen packages—including a rare Beanie Baby and the Mayor’s prized Christmas pickle—before Christmas spirit disappears. Packed with slapstick laughs, festive hijinks, and heartwarming moments, Porch Pirates is a family-friendly holiday comedy for all ages.