A fidgety, wisecracking video store clerk develops a fixation on a particularly reclusive customer, a frequent visitor to the pornography section of Cinefile, the video store where he works in Los Angeles. After multiple failures to impress her during their brief daily transactions, he finds her street address in the store's database, drives to her apartment building and initiates an unconventional campaign to win her affections.

At Arkham University, campus bitches Clare and Julie have a score to settle with goth chicks Sarah and Allison. And when Amy accidentally unleashes a campus zombie epidemic, Clare picks Sarah as the perfect candidate to join the walking dead! But things have a way of backfiring. . .don't they? So don't be surprised if Clare and Julie wind up on tonight's menu!

An ambitious member of a movie-piracy ring attempts to steal a hot new film and winds up with much more than he bargained for.